Norwegian Royal House turns to fraud.

Recently in an European village called Norway, the princess announced she would start a school for contacting angels. The school is to offer courses in healing, touching and reading. I`ll spare your the rest of the details, as I didn`t bother to read them. Shut up.

We all know this is a pile of shit, hopefully the local townsmen won`t be fooled by this deceit.
As we all know, coming in contact with angels takes a little more then a princess on acid from Norway. Seriously, if you want to talk to Popeye, or Georgie, you are better of sending me an email, and I`ll see what i can do.


But don`t get your hopes up, being da Pope and Leader of the free world does take up a lot of your spare time. I know Popeye is going to be very busy, because of his role in Star Wars -1: The Phantom shit. Therefore i cannot guarantee that everyone gets a close encounter.

However, if you are willing to settle for some lesser, but still angels, I can make that happen too. John Wayne, Charlton Heston and myself will be attending this years National Rifle Association meeting.


Mind you I haven`t had time to discuss this with the others but I guessing something like this is what we will be looking at :

Handshakes : 300$
Photos: 450$
5min conversation: 250$
Signed and blessed postcard: 120$
Super Angel Pack: 1500$

Orangutango goes Locomongo

This morning sad news came from Mogadishu (a country or city in Africa). Locals today woke up to what seems to have been a bloodbath during the night. There have been raids against villages and nearby farms. The culprit? A gang of mad Orangutans.

Animal Watch organizations have for a while now, warned about the low availability of Blood Orange, which is the Orangutans normal source of food. The primates eat this citrus so much, it is the reason for their characterizing orange fur.

It seems that the apes discovered they could eat man flesh instead, and so the shit hit the fan.















Disturbing images have been pouring in all day, the worst of them all, this one of a visiting Norwegian politician. The bloodthirsty Orangutan used him as a trofe hat, not unlike our own David Crockett, who used to thread beaver rectums onto his head.